Knoebels - June 2, 2023

Last year I conquered a major fear and discovered a new hobby in roller coasters. In a buzzed moment at home around Christmas time, I told my wife that what I really wanted for my birthday and/or Christmas was the opportunity to ride more roller coasters.

She asked me what park I wanted to go to. I said my real goal would be Cedar Point, but I couldn't think of a good excuse to drive that far without making a whole big trip out of it.

So that is exactly what we did!

In the small town of Elysburg, PA exists one of the most bizarre amusement parks I have ever visited - the one and only Knoebels. I'd never heard of Knoebels in all my years of visiting Hersheypark, just an hour south. I remember when Hershey was a park of old amusement rides and wooden coasters, and it sounded like Knoebels' lineup was similar to old school Hershey. However, the vibe of the two parks could not be more different.

I'll start with the coasters and rides, and address park quality, crowds, food, etc afterwards. Embedded photos may not be mine.

Knoebels has far more to offer than its coasters. For fans of classic carnival rides, this place might as well be heaven.

This full-blown resort and campground could easily be the centerpiece of a long weekend summer trip. Bring a camper or rent one of the cottages on the park grounds. Parking is free, in mostly dirt or grass lots. They offer a waterpark and several good-looking dining options.

The park itself is organized in a clustered, somewhat meandering style, a bit hard to find your way around at first. Much of the park's paths are dirt or gravel, so don't wear shoes you worry about dirtying up. The best way to describe the Knoebels vibe is that of a never-ending carnival. The many fairground organs throughout provide the musical backdrop to this fever dream of a park. There's also, inexplicably, a building shaped like a massive loaf of bread.

Admission to the grounds is free and you can buy tickets as you go if you don't want to ride too many things. My wife and I opted for the ride-all-day wristbands which, IMO, were a little bit pricey at $50 - but for a place this well-staffed and that commits itself to preserving hard-to-maintain attractions, I understand that you need to pay for it somewhere. With a variety of rides appealing to children, non-thrill-seekers, and coaster fans, you could bring anybody here.

Knoebels is reviving another old ride - the Bayern Kurve - and apparently intends to run it at its "full speed" of 70mph... I say there is no chance they get it running that fast, but we'll see. They're certainly crazy enough to try.

There's an interesting building in the center of the park called the Fascination parlor. I've never heard of or played this game before visiting Knoebels. Basically, if Skee-ball is checkers, then Fascination is chess. The attendants in the building gave my wife and I a few free tickets and I managed to win one round. The building is dead quiet and air-conditioned, so it's a good place to go and cool down if necessary.

The park opened at 12 and closed at 8, and I felt we had basically gotten everything done by 6 or so. Good call, since the skies opened up at 6:30 and likely closed a good portion of the park for the night. The lines on a Friday afternoon were not bad at all. The longest waits were for our two rides on Flying Turns. Phoenix and Twister were walk-ons basically all day. Ride ops were efficient and outstandingly friendly. Knoebels must be a nice place to work.

For the unique vibe of the park, and especially if you are a lover of vintage woodies and classic rides, Knoebels is a great place to visit. It manages to distinguish itself from other small, family-owned/operated parks with its wacky carnival vibe. I will for sure be returning someday!

My wife and I left a little after 6, a bit overheated and tired, feeling that we had done the park justice. We hit up a good roadside joint called the Twilight Diner in Loganton on the way to our next stop: Waldameer!

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